YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION…
Well, you know…we all want to change the world. But some of us are taking matters into our own big, beefy hands. One former politician is talkin’ about a New Year’s Revolution, allright –the kind of smackdown that makes WWE’s match look prissy — and he wants to take Robert F. Kennedy Jr. into the ring with him.
Former Governor Jesse Ventura, that Maverick from Minnesota, is hinting at an independent presidential bid in 2008 with RFK Jr. as his running mate.
Hey, you can’t make this stuff up. And while this is about the funniest thing we’ve read in ages, don’t laugh too loud just yet (if you know what’s good for you). He might not be kidding!
Get a load of this:
DON’T START THE REVOLUTION WITHOUT ME
In his forthcoming book, Ventura writes about the shockwaves his Governorship created amongst the establishment elites. “In our country, there is a certain ruling class that won’t give up the power,” he says. “I know I had to be destroyed because of what I represented and how I got elected. There was a ripple of fright that what happened in Minnesota could be a trend.”
Since leaving office in 2003, Ventura briefly – and profitably – worked for MSNBC and taught at Harvard University in 2004, then moved to Baja, Mexico.
Here are a few excerpts from a review copy of the book, which hits stores in April.
ADVISED PRESIDENT CLINTON ON THE MIDDLE EAST
When Ventura visited the White House, President Clinton told him he was working on a peace accord between the Palestinians and the Israelis. He quoted the president as saying, “You know, Governor, it’s so frustrating because it comes down to one mound of dirt.”
Ventura said he offered a solution.
“Why don’t you call in an airstrike and blow that hill off the face of the earth? We can say the computers malfunctioned … We blow it up, it’s gone. They won’t have anything to fight over.”
Ventura writes a stunned Clinton “didn’t say anything, but if I could put words into his mouth, they were: ‘You’ve gotta be sh*%ting me.’ ”
JUST THINK…HE COULD HAVE BEEN RUNNING THE COUNTRY THESE PAST EIGHT YEARS
“We were sitting in my office when I looked John McCain in the eye and said, ‘Senator, if you will quit the Republican Party, I will break my promise to Minnesota and I will run with you. You for president, me for vice president. And we will win the 2000 election.’
“He smiled and said, ‘I’d love to have you on board, but I can’t quit the Republican Party.’
“I said, ‘Well, if you can’t do that, then I can’t join you. Because I will not join either of these parties.'”
…AND THEN THE CIA CAME CALLING
Shortly after he took office in 1999, he was escorted to a state Capitol conference room where 23 CIA agents were waiting. He writes that they grilled him about how he campaigned and won the election. “In short, how had the independent wrestler candidate pulled this off?”
He said he learned “there is a CIA operative inside every state government. … In Minnesota, this person was at a deputy commissioner level, fairly high up.”
GOT GUIDANCE FROM GORE
“I like Al Gore a great deal … I spoke with Al about the abortion bill situation. I told him the whole scenario, how I was taking a tremendous amount of heat, being called a flip-flopper and a bunch of other names because, as a candidate, I’d said I had no particular problem with the bill.
‘”What do you do in a situation like this?’ I asked the vice president.
” ‘It’s simple,’ he told me. ‘You throw everything else out of the equation, and you go with what you believe is right.’
“That helped me stick to the courage of my convictions … And I vetoed the bill.”
The book’s epilogue humorously hints at a possible run for the presidency this year and is written as a series of imagined newspaper reports:
March 2008: “(Ventura) is running on a World Wrestling Entertainment independent ticket for the presidency of the United States.”
August 2008: “Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced he is quitting the Democratic Party … (and) revealed that he has agreed to become the running mate of the former wrestler and Minnesota governor.”
September 2008: “Ventura-Kennedy Ticket Surges in Polls.”
October 2008: “President Bush declared martial law across the United States on Tuesday.”
Late October 2008: “Ventura is Shot by Lone Gunman.”
Early November 2008: “Former Governor Clinging to Life; Officials Deny Shooting Part of a Wider Plot.”
Yessir, looks like 2008 is off to a pretty wacky start so far…but after being pummeled with 24/7 news coverage of the Iowa Caucuses for weeks on end, God knows we could all use a bit of comic relief.
At least, we think he’s just pulling our leg. But Jesse…hey, don’t pull so hard, man. You’re kidding about all this, right? No, wait…wait! Put me down, willya? Take it easy, bro’! Dude, that hurts! Stop it!Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Copyright RFKin2008.com. Book excerpt copyright Jesse Ventura, Dick Russell.